Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize