Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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  (604): My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry. http://tfl.nu/6crc
  Replies (8) Good night (400) Bad night (1521) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked

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  (815): Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked http://tfl.nu/ct4t
  Replies (23) Good night (13819) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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  (517): when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch. http://tfl.nu/wqdf
  Replies (6) Good night (414) Bad night (3107) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?

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  (847): Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did? http://tfl.nu/wv87
  Replies (37) Good night (4308) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.

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  (314): last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga. http://tfl.nu/5ric
  Replies (16) Good night (3929) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "

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  (405): i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it. (1-405): i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. " http://tfl.nu/mvrv
  Replies (40) Good night (9558) Bad night (922)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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  (805): I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more. http://tfl.nu/p4p6
  Replies (5) Good night (3290) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.

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  (631): She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other. http://tfl.nu/8uqn
  Replies (14) Good night (5255) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis

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  (603): it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis http://tfl.nu/b4c1
  Replies (18) Good night (1235) Bad night (2428) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives

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  (215): I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives http://tfl.nu/ehnp
  Replies (6) Good night (1932) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

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  (307): I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head. http://tfl.nu/1su5
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed

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  (715): 1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed http://tfl.nu/vbeb
  Replies (7) Good night (2131) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.

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  (608): He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples. http://tfl.nu/0xb3
  Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (233) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

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  (204): I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls http://tfl.nu/4n4b
  Replies (11) Good night (448) Bad night (870) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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  (630): It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again. http://tfl.nu/c0k2
  Replies (1) Good night (608) Bad night (236) Order T-Shirt

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