The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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