i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize