I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize