I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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