wat bout pragnant strippers??
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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