Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize