I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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