is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
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Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
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I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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