Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
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I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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