and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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