My room smells like vodka and shame
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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