My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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