He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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