I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize