I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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