I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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