So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
the raccoons are back...
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