she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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