Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize