We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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