I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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