woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize