Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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