I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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