hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize