hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize