If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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