This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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