ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize