i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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