Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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