sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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