So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize