I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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