He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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Sacagawea was the original milf.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
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Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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