So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize