So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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