so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize