White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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