We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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