I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize