I could make wine with my vomit
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize