we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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