I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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