the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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