She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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