is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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