We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
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I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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